Visit to the Twilight Zone....

Actually, it was the dentist, but it was the most bizarre dental appointment that it almost felt like a Twilight Zone or X-Files episode. An experience that is definately blog-worthy.

Finding a new dentist can be a scary experience. You are giving your mouth over to complete strangers to poke and prod as they please, only to tell you that you have tarter or, heaven forbid, a cavity! As long as I don't hear the words 'root canal', I should be able to survive. This time around, however, I left the office wondering if I would find myself being beamed up to another realm in the middle of the night or receiving secret coded messages through my fillings in the coming weeks.

I arrived at the dentist office a little before 3:30 p.m. and filled out all the new patient paperwork that was required. I then waited for an hour before they called me into the back. To pass the time I read the most brain-frying magazine in existance. It's called Lucky (I think) and it is all about famous people and what they do and speculation about why they do it. DUMB! I will admit that I don't mind perusing an issue of People every now and then, but this was just a serious waste of time. However, it was either read that or watch the 1976 version of King Kong that was on the waiting room T.V. Take your pick.

They finally called me back around 4:30 p.m. I went into the X-Ray room and the assistant took pictures of my teeth. Nothing too weird so far. I was then lead to a cubicle with a dental chair in it and asked to sit down. The assistant told me she would get my X-rays and be right back. I sat there for about 10 minutes, texting Jay all the while to make sure Sasha was okay, since she was crying when I left her with him. (She was fine, btw). The room was unusually sterile. I was thinking, 'Where am I? This is unlike any dentist office I have ever seen.' It looked more like a wherehouse that had been sectioned off into tiny "offices". The only thing on the wall was a framed print-out of the California codes and proceedures on what I should do if I recieve unacceptable treatment. Good to know. How about a picture of a flower or a pretty landscape? Something to put my anxious mind at ease. What if the dentist finds something undesireable? I'd like to have something nice to look at while my mouth is being torn apart.

Suddently a man comes into the cubicle and asks me a few questions. He is young, possibly in college, and I assume that he is another dental assistent or a hygenist. He is asking me about my fillings and the reason why I am there. Then he leaves. He comes back with X-ray girl and my X-rays. He starts talking to me about how my fillings need to be replaced and that the X-ray shows that my teeth look good overall. During this conversation I figure out that he is not a dental hygenist, he is the dentist. How about an introduction? "Hi, my name is Dr. No Manners. How are you today? This is my assistant, Miss No Name." Duh! Did it ever occur to them that I cannot read their minds? Well, obviously not.

After the brief and confusing consultation with the dentist I was informed that my tarter would be removed and my teeth would be cleaned. Every dentist I have ever gone to has had the dental hygenist clean the teeth and scrap the tarter. So this was what I was expecting. I was not expecting a visit from alien teeth surgeons. Yikes! The dentist left and then returned with the assistant. They both had surgical face masks on and rubber gloves. The doctor reclined my chair and turned on the annoying light meant for your mouth but is almost always pointed toward your eyes (as it was in this case). I begin to wonder what's going on and why the dentist is still in the room. Then I hear a hig-pitched drill-like sound. There is some kind of metal gizmo moving toward my mouth. Here is my thought process at this point:

'OUCH! What are they doing? Teeth cleaning doesn't feel like this. Aren't they going to scrape my tarter first? What kind of machine is this? I didn't think that the cleaning machine vibrated so much.'

The drill-like machine turned off and the polish and tooth cleaning machine came out. What did they just do? The dentist began cleaning my teeth. Hmmm. They must have been scraping my tarter with that drill. Either that or they have imbedded some kind of homing device into my gums. Maybe I'll be able to get 101.9 The End through my fillings now. Chunga and Mister, here I come!

Oww! Could you slow down with that exuberant cleaning? My teeth aren't that dirty, are they? All I could see during this process was the bright teeth light and 4 gloved hands drilling, sucking, and squirting my teeth. Who are these masked avengers? Have I been beamed up to another dimention? Are Mulder and Scully going to come rescue me? I hope I can go home soon, I think my milk is letting down.

The light is turned off and the dentist removes his mask. "All done. See you in six months." Yeah right. Not unless I want green ooze inserted into my veins next time. Or worse. At least I'll have clean teeth.

Update on Baby

Hi fellow bloggers. Yes, I have been ignoring my blog for the last 6 weeks and feeling horribly guilty about it. It seems next to impossible to get on the computer now that there are two kids in the Baird household. I will figure this out soon, I hope!


So here is the rest of the delivery story:


We went to the hospital on Wednesday, March 19th, got there about 1 p.m. We were taken to a room and I got settled there. The doctor came in and did an ultrasound, and we saw that the baby was in the traverse position. I was suspecting that she had not turned to the correct position and I was right. So the doctor said that he would attempt the version. I was then hooked up to an IV and filled out some paperwork and about a half hour later the doctor returned with the nurse and the proceedure began. I was bracing myself for the worst, as I had heard that version hurts pretty bad. It was quite uncomfortable and it was a bit painful at the end, but it wasn't anything like what I thought it would be and it's nothing next to the labor pains, so....

Anyway, back to the story. So the doctor came in and got out the ultrasound machine again. He looked to see what was going on with the baby and saw that in the 30 minutes it took to get my IV going the baby had moved again and was now in the full breech position. He put a lot of that jelly stuff on my belly, felt for they baby's head and bum, and started pushing. The nurse held the ultrasound wand-thing on my belly so the doctor could see the baby. The doctor was talking to the baby the whole time, "Sasha, we need you to move. Please move around Sasha. Mommy wants you to be a good little girl and put your head down please." Things like this. It helped ease some of the tension, which was good. After about 5 pushes and tugs on the baby, she was finally in position. When the doctor had declared that the version was sucessful, I had to blink several times to keep myself from crying. I was so greatful. The nurses in the room started claping and cheering. They were as excited as I was. Immediately after the doctor was finished the nurse started me on pitocin. The doctor decided to wait a few minutes before breaking my water, as the sack was still quite high up inside and he wanted to see if the contractions would help bring it down a bit. After about 30 more minutes or so he came back in and checked again, decided it was low enough, and broke the water. That was quite painful, I have to admit. Didn't like that so much. Once he was done though I was gushing. The nurse said that she hadn't seen that much fluid come out of one person for some time. I guess I had almost twice the amount of fluid that most women have. The doctor thought that was part of the reason why the baby was moving around so much, she had a lot of fluid to help her get around. That and she was small (well, smaller than Gabby was).


So that was at about 4 p.m. The contractions started to pick up and by 7 p.m. or so I was asking for the epidural. So I got that at 8 p.m., when I was dialated to about a 4, then took a bit of a rest before it was time to start pushing. The doctor came back in a little before 10 p.m., checked me and said it was time to start pushing. The nurse coached me for about 30 minutes, and at 10:36 p.m. Sasha Marie Baird was born. The whole experience was pretty good, went much faster than with Gabby and I was so so grateful that I was able to have a vaginal delivery and that everything went so well. And I only had one small tear. It made my recovery so much easier. I guess once you stretch everything out one time then it is easier the next time around. Being induced took the guess work out of when the baby would come. It was kind of nice, actually. :)


So here is our little one, born March 19th, 6 lbs 9 oz, 19 1/2 inces long